![]() That boundary isn’t null and void just because you happen to be (briefly) in the same place. You and your husband have chosen to set a boundary with his sister. Now He’s Manipulating the Kids to Get Me Back. My Husband Abandoned Me at the Worst Moment. At this point it’s so awkward and stressful to be around Carrie, I’d rather just hang out with the many other extended family members who are fun and drama-free. It’s sad that my kids don’t really know their aunt and cousins, but they’ve made almost no effort to be involved in our kids’ lives. My question is: What obligation do I have to see Carrie? I have a limited amount of vacation time and I want to enjoy it, not stress about what drama Carrie is going to cause this time. This summer my husband, kids, and I plan to spend a couple of weeks with my in-laws like we usually do. They are trying to patch up their relationship, which we are all relieved to hear, but we’re also frankly wary after decades of walking on eggshells around her. My MIL finally had enough and insisted that the only way she would talk with Carrie is if they went to see a therapist together. In the meantime, Carrie had another big, unreasonable blow-up with my in-laws and said more cruel things. We’ve since moved across the country and have minimal contact. (Kids are ruthless that way, and pick up on those disparities and make those calls about who they can most “safely” attack without even realizing it sometimes.) ![]() Why they’re focused on Sabrina more than their father, I don’t know they could be upset with her for some reason they don’t feel like sharing-and she also might seem like the more vulnerable parent, and therefore the easiest target of their scorn or anger. I don’t want to minimize what’s going on, but I do think ages 9 and especially 12 are right in that window when kids are really trying to assert their independence from their parents. I think you’re probably already doing what you should be doing: caring for all the kids, trying to be a good stepmother, doing your part to help the shared custody and co-parenting go as smoothly as possible, not disparaging Sabrina to any of the children. I feel bad for her and guilty that my stepkids seemingly overwhelmingly prefer me to her. ![]() I don’t have a ton of experience with Sabrina, but she seems like a perfectly loving person. And the kids aren’t acting scared or frightened of going there, as if she’s abusing them or she’s neglecting them they’re acting like she’s a chore to be around. Sabrina isn’t a bad mother, as far as I know.
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